Healing The Darkness In Him
by E.L.Baylie
Summary: Okay guys this is set just after Spike gets his soul. He hasn't gone crazy yet.. and I dont plan on making him as crazy as he was. Adding to this story constantly, reviews would be much appreciated, please and thank you :
1. Fire and Ice

He woke up to only one though, surely a soul shouldn't hurt? Okay, so having it ripped out of you should, not that he'd know, but getting your soul back? Shouldn't that feel all fluffy and bright like?

But no, it felt like fire and ice coursing through his body, every nerve in pain, darkness at the edges of his vision...hmmm maybe it was defective, just his luck to get a screwy soul.

Well at least he wasn't all dark and brooding like some he could mention... bloody poofter, knew he was just attention seeking all that helping the helpless crap.

He stood and brushed the dust from his jeans, plucked his t-shirt off the floor of the cave with a distasteful look on his face...bug guts...bloody marvellous. Can't be wearing that home. Have to be careful riding the bike back to Sunnydale, road rash was a bitch, even for vampires.

Well, Spike thought, that'll be interesting, turning up at the slayers door with no shirt and a brand new soul! Finally he could be the man that Buffy needed, he hoped.

That final thought playing on his mind he headed out of the cave and swung himself onto the dusty bike, it would be a long night, but it would all be worth it once he saw her again.


	2. Magic of the Magic Box

Buffy awoke to a jolt of pure joy entering her heart. Something good had happened, she didn't know what good thing could of happened but it was certainly a welcome change, this past year her life had been nothing but a pile of crap with a fair few bruises thrown in. Still, she hoped it was happening for Dawnie, she deserved something good, especially as she was starting high school in the morning.

Buffy thumped her pillow and went back to sleep with a smile on her face, enjoying the feeling of being content.

Dawn woke up feeling sick to her stomach. Right now she felt she would rather face a hundred vamps without her sisters protection than get out of bed and face her first day at high school. She'd seen some of the many blueprints Xander had brought around, that place is huge!

She also felt guilty, even after what Spike had done to Buffy Dawn still wanted him there with her on her first day, he always knew what to say and how to calm her down. But no! She couldn't miss him, he was a monster for what he'd done to her sister, he could rot in hell for all she cared... if only that was true, Dawn missed him so much. Feeling sick and very alone Dawn went to the bathroom to get washed and dressed for the terrifying day ahead of her.

After making sure that Dawn was safely in school... as safe as you could be in a school built on the Hellmouth, Buffy decided to do some recon. She had to say, even if the building was evil, it was defiantly a great place for learning, better than it had been when she had been there. But still, it was evil, defiantly evil...

On her way home Buffy had a sudden urge to stop by the magic shop. She didn't know why, it was a place full of bad memories of Willows abandonment and also one of Spikes many betrayals. But still she felt a pull towards the place, and as a slayer she had learnt long ago to follow her instinct. She changed the direction of her walk, quicken her pace and headed towards the Magic Box.

Spike sat amongst the rubble of what used to be the Magic box, he cursed himself for not reaching Buffy's before daybreak. If only he hadn't of had to stop for blood on the way back, but it had been needed, he hadn't realised how much the trials of the previous day had taken out of him, at least the pain from having his soul re-enter his being seemed to have stopped. He glanced around himself, the place was a shambles. Everything was destroyed; he wondered how that had happened. He spotted the table that he and Anya had... Spike grimaced... that was one piece of furniture he sure wouldn't miss. The sound of the entrance to the store opening and the ever growing strip of sunlight coming towards him broke Spike out of his retrieve and had him diving into the corner for safety. A voice called out cautiously "Hello? Is there someone in here? It's the slayer by the way, in case you're thinking of attacking". Spike walked out of the shadows... "Hello, Buffy".


	3. Shadow and Sunlight

Spike moved out of the darkness, being careful not to step into the direct sunlight to his left. Slowly he raised his head, "Hello, Buffy." But then the words in his throat stuck, he saw her, really saw her for the first time. The sunlight behind her made her look like an avenging goddess, her hair wild and unruly from walking in the strong winds outside. The shadow and sunlight accentuating the curve of her full breasts. He stood there, dumbstruck drinking her in, it felt like it was the first time he'd ever saw her. Spike mentally shock himself as Buffy walk over the threshold and closed the door behind her.

"What are you doing here Spike? You should of left for good" venom coloured her words, Spike looked at her for a moment not understanding why she was angry. "I could never leave you, Buffy. Surely you see that by now? I love you, slayer, nothing will change that." Buffy let out a harsh laugh, "Love? You did that to me because you _love_ me? Boy, I'd hate to see what you'd do to someone you hate!" She stands there for a moment, pretending to think "Oh, wait a second, I have seen what you do, and you did that to me too!" Spike stares at her uncomprehendingly, what had he done to deserve the wrath of this powerful woman before him "Buffy...I..?" The glare she turns on him is so full of hate that he halts in his tracks. "What, Spike? What can you possibly say that will make this any better? Go on! Tell me!" Still confused, Spike tries again "Buffy, I have no idea what you're talking about love.." Quick as a snake Buffy punches him straight in the nose. "Ow! Bloody hell woman! What was that for?" He looks up from fixing his broken nose in time to see her turn to leave. "Where the bloody hell do you think you're going? You can't just punch a fella in the face without an explanation!" he grabs her forearm, roughly spinning her to face him she looks at him with such fear.

Memories hit him with such force its like a bomb going off in his head. As he falls to the floor tears flowing down his cheeks, his lungs fit to burst with screams trying to escape him. _He had tried to rape her! He had hurt her in every way possible... no wonder she looks at him with such hate, it was no more than he deserved. _ Spike could hear someone calling, "Spike!" he couldn't find his voice to answer. "Spike, please, look at me" Buffy held his head in her hands forcing him to look into her eyes, eyes no longer filled with hate, but with confusion and worry. "Spike, what have you done? Why didn't you remember?" Her thumb stroked his cheek, "please Spike, Please stop crying and talk to me, tell me whats going on".

Spike looking into her passionate green eyes, trying to get his emotions reined in. His head hurt like the chip had fired, "water.." he gasped. Buffy delved into her bag and pulled out a bottle of water, unscrewing the top she silently handed it to him. After taking a few slow sips Spike started to explain. Once he had finished Buffy rocked back on her heels and stared at him in shock. "You did this for me?" he looked into her eyes, "I wanted to be the man you deserved" Spike cast his eyes downwards "Now I see that will never happen... I'm a monster, soul non-withstanding"

Spike saw Buffy's hand clasp his. "No William, you're no monster. I toyed with you until you snapped. I'm not saying I forgive you, but I do understand. You never deserved the way I treated you. But i don't have to forgive this man, you have a soul now Spike, you're different now." Buffy stood up and walked to the door, hand on the handle she turned back to him. "William... Spike, I've just realised something that I've probably known for a long time but didn't want to admit. I'm sorry to keep putting you though this, but please hold on for a few more hours? Please? Meet me in the park at eleven?" Spike smiles weakly up at her, "anything for you kitten".

As Buffy leaves the Magic Box, Spike sits in the silence and the dark, waiting till eleven comes around.


End file.
